christmas eve testimonies reading

family prayer

christmas day receiving surprise

tears joy gratitude

a day we will talk about for years to come

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas

"To be so long the center of a home, so much sought after, and then, almost suddenly to be on the sidelines watching the procession pass by - this is living into loneliness . . ." Elder Richard L. Evans

Our family took gifts to four of the over 2000 elderly shut-ins in the Salt Lake Valley. What a blessing it was to move out of our comfort zone as we belted a rousing song of Jingle Bells with "Edward" in his little apartment and laughed with "Minenettee" whose colorful personality was spilling out from beneath her do rag and dreadlocks.

Thank you for the wonderful idea John & Deb.

I'm thinking

about the fog that has settled around us

for the past three days

I'm thinking about grandpa at Saturday's Christmas party

and about Nana's quiet tears as she gave into her enmity

of alzheimers for a rare, brief moment

I'm thinking of Elder Nelson's conference talk that I read this morning

and I'm mulling over the long list of qualities needed

to receive the gift of spiritual discernment:

faith, hope, charity, love, an eye single to the glory of God,

virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience,

brotherly kindness, godliness, humility, diligence

my gift of discernment is a long way off

I'm thinking of our December calendar that says

"Lose Hope and KNOW"

I'm thinking I like that

I'm thinking of hot cocoa

and cinnamon rolls from good friends

and a lazy day with my children

and I'm thinking I like that too

"Jack and Sarah love each other the way we do."

"Almost," Brandon replies, "almost."

He reads my books so we can discuss them together.

He holds my hand and kisses it like it's a fragile gift

He tells me I'm beautiful at times I am far from it

He has put toothpaste on my toothbrush

for the past 15 years

He loves me better

than Captain Jack Elliot could ever love Sarah Agnes Prine.

Happy Anniversary Sweetheart -

P.S. Brandon and I have been brewing up plans for a "wedding party." If your blessed day was full of regrettable wardrobe/decorating choices you'd be on the invite list. Only those with horrifically dated wedding attire and bad hairdo's will be allowed. We'll be watching sticky sweet wedding videos while digging into marzipan wedding cake . . . with a little cup of mints and mixed nuts on the side, of course.

white noise

Four forty and sleep eludes.

My busy thoughts are calmed by its comforting sound.

A distinct memory settles in, warming me from the inside out.

As a young girl I used to sit next to the heat register

the one near the sliding glass door in the kitchen

so I could be near the busyness of my mother

I would pull my nightgown over my legs

and secure it tightly beneath my toes

The heat would flow out

causing the material to expand like a hot air balloon

The air would turn disappointingly cool

as the furnace would prepare to shut off

I would sneak over to the thermostat

and turn it up a few notches

buying myself a little more time

to drift away

in my hot air balloon

The sound of the furnace

still takes me to a wonderful place

Dear Parents:

Your child recently participated in a state mandated hearing screening. Your student failed to respond at one or more the frequencies tested at 20 dBhl. You need to take your child for a complete audiological evaluation, as soon as possible.

If you have any questions or concerns, please call me.

Sincerely,

K.M., Speech Language Pathologist

So he has difficulty hearing at lower to mid range frequencies. Apparently that equals preferential seating in the class room . . . if a 2nd grader considers the front row preferential.

That's the cool thing about having a child with autism. This sort of information doesn't phase me. It's like our visit to the dentist two weeks ago when it was discovered that Nick is missing a permanent tooth in the front. "That stinks. Hmm. I wonder what we should have for dinner tonight . . ."

See? Hard to phase me. It's like God asked me if I wanted the bad news or the worst news first. I chose the worst news, Autism. Everything after that is small potatoes.

Now if you'll please excuse me, I've got to go find some wood to knock on -

Saturday in a nutshell

ward temple day

kitchen transformed into restaurant

turkey sausage and cheese omelette

smoke alarm

hired help walks out

sledding

snowball fights

snow forts

snowmen

hot chocolate

cheap pizza

salad

homemade bleu cheese dressing

"A Christmas Story"

popcorn

Christmas books

prayers

bed

Oh, and I

discovered

that my dog and I

have the same profile